Return to Manley

Since I am moving back to Jeff City this week, I decided to attend Manley (my home church) this weekend. I was hesitant because it had been so long and I didn't know how it would feel and if it was really where I was supposed to be. In fact, I thought about not going today and waiting until I was officially in Jeff City next weekend. Amanda, however, was determined for me to get back in the swing this morning and insisted on me waking up and I did.

I really had a fantastic experience this morning. The music was a joy as always...Kevin really is infectious...you can feel his passion for God ooze out of every song, every nuance, and every note. I loved it so much. I knew that I loved that...no surprise since I love music and find it easy to worship in that way.

I, however, had forgotten exactly how much I love the pastor there. I respect him very much. He truly speaks from the heart and what he feels God lays on it. Today he focused in on how we have to die to ourselves to really live for God. How we are so self-centered and try to blame all of our problems on everyone, but our problem is sin and sin comes from OUR actions. It's ourselves that get angry, jealous, selfish, etc, etc. It is our one purpose to glorify God and none of the selfish things we do glorify Him. We get in the way of our purpose. If we can't let God lead us and totally get rid of ourselves and our control problems, we'll never live up to our potential or our purpose.

He also talked about how God would call us out of our comfort zones. How it is virtually impossible to remain comfortable and really be giving our all to God. We can only be comfortable doing what we know our abilities are. God can do so much more than we think or know that we are capable of. We are to give our bodies, souls, minds, and everything for God to use. Moses didn't think he could do what God told him to do...it was outside of his abilities, but God asked him to trust him. Moses stepped out in faith and God showed him that anything is possible through Him.

This is the place in particular where I struggle the most. I like to stay in the background...and follow people. I like to help people...I want to help the hungry, the poor, the homeless, children, old people...anyone who has a need that I can meet. My problem is that I never quite know where to start and I'm too settled into myself to let loose of control and step out and find what God has for me to do. I hide behind others because I'm shy...I may be timid with other humans, but my timidity does NOTHING for God. It's time to bust out of that box I've put myself in. It's time for me to let go of my control and give everything in me to God. To pray that prayer every single day. To use any ability and talent I can for God even if it scares me to death. To show that I don't just believe that Jesus is my Savior, but also my LORD who I am supposed to serve...and to serve faithfully. Believing just isn't enough....I have to do something. What good is being idle? What kind of life is that for me, for others, for God? It's time to be truly obedient and useful. That is my prayer...I challenge myself to pray it each day, to live each day that way, to focus on that and not on myself or others but only God. Everyday is a gift and I want to live my life that way. I covet all of your prayers...keep me accountable please!